The freedom in saying NO

Saying No is the most difficult thing to do but yet the most liberating thing.


We live in a world where we are obsessed with pleasing one another. We "lie" in the name of protecting our loved ones from the "ugly" truth but the truth of the matter is lying is a job and a half, really! You'll need too much energy to lie, keep up with the lie and remember that lie. Often we get caught up in the cycle of making up excuses or lies because we simply can't be honest.

I got to a point where I got tired, I got tired of lying, explaining myself or making up excuses in order to be politically correct. I got tired of lying to people to cover up, but then I figured that if these people love me, they should be comfortable to understand and accept me for who I am. I don't need to wear a mask, they love me, I love them.

I am a little bit different or may a little too messy. I usually have no energy to do half of the things expected of me, this is why: Firstly, I really do not like people I prefer to be alone fantasizing, thinking, reading or simply doing nothing. Secondly, I disagree with 90% of societal norms things like contributing towards million things that certain aunts and uncles come up with which normally comes with "we need to do blah blah.. what will people say?" tagline, also, I care less about what people say about me because they never come forth and say it to my face anyway. Lastly, for some reason, I just can not conform to societal norms... I can't!

So, I had to learn to close my eyes and unapologetically say NO to attending parties, donating my money towards causes that I personally do not believe in, turning down dinner invitation when I am not feeling like eating out or seeing people or just saying NO because I do not want to. I learned to do all these without even explaining myself and when asked why my answer range from I do not feel like it to I just don't want. Very cruel Or (un-African, as some says)  I know but guess what? my loved ones now know.... they know when I say I will be there that I will truly come and when I say I won't they do not question, they know that is just ME being ME. Saying NO brought me freedom, the freedom to be authentic and honest to myself.